Now let me adjust my crystal ball....

My best friend Joeyboots asked me, in response to my "Music of 2009" post, "well genius, now what is going to be good in 2010?"  A worthy and appropriate question my good man.  Since I am an evil gypsy with a crystal ball and the powers to see in the future I can, for you dear readers, give you a few bands to look out for in 2010.  I have included some video examples for your enjoyment if available.

-Vampire Weekend - Contra - A highly anticipated sophomore album from these guys. It has already been released and I have listened a few times through and while it is good, I have not decided as of yet how it compares to their debut which I absolutely loved. Their sound is like no other band out there, which I love about them.



-Yeasayer - Odd Blood - Another early release I have already listened to. They too have a unique sound. I really like this album, the songs are interesting and varied. Here is my favorite song off the album so far, "Ambling Alp"



-Pantha du Prince - Black Noise - Easily one of my own personal most highly anticipated releases, this drops in about two weeks. His 2007 album "This Bliss" was a flawless mix of beautiful ambient minimal techno. Here is a cut from the upcoming album, this one is "The Splendour"



Hot Chip - One Life Stand - Next to Vampire Weekend's Contra this band's third full length is probably the most critically anticipated album to be released. Their danceable electro rock is damn catchy. Should be a good one for the old moneymaker shaking.



The Shout Out Louds - Work - These catchy Swedes return in late February with another collection of great pop tunes. Here is the first single "Walls"



Other notable releases include the trip hop maestros Massive Attack with their release Helioglad and the Queen of baby-making music, Sade. That's right, Sade, her first album in over 10 years. Additionally, one of my all time favorite bands, Interpol will be releasing sometime in the summer or fall. Hooray.

Other big names releasing in the first half of 2010 include Lil Wayne, Redman, Wu Tang, Christina Aguilera, Usher, Black Rebel Motorcycle Club, Blink 182, No Doubt, The Beastie Boys, Red Hot Chili Peppers, and...wait for it...wait....for....it....Jennifa Yopez! I know, I too wept with unbridled joy.

Here is a great link that lists pretty much everything of note that will be releasing through the summer and beyond.

http://www.aolradioblog.com/2009/12/02/new-music-releases-2010-calendar/

To guido or not to guido...

In light of last nights Jersey Shore finale, I give you this:

Now that is a situation...

This is still funny....

Certainly I am not implying that Hurricane Katrina or Telethons in general are funny but Kanye West and Mike Myer's reaction to Kanye's idiotic ramblings certainly are.  Between this and Taylor Swift this is why you don't get invited to telethons, live events, barmitzvahs, or really any sort of public gathering anymore.  But dammit if you don't make some great tunes.  You are a complex mass of diametrically opposing forces (SAT words, BOO-YA) Kanye.  I mean can you really blame Clooney for not inviting you to his Hati shindig?  I agree that it is easy to be pissed at Clooney in general for banging supermodels, owning mansions in Italy, and just being an all around awesome dude but not for a Kanye-free telethon.  But I digress...Or do I?  I guess not.  That's pretty much it.

On a serious note I don't think it needs to be said that you should get off your ass and donate to the Red Cross if you haven't already.  Other than just money I would also encourage you to donate blood on a regular basis.  It is something I do yearly because I have a semi-rare blood type but everyone should make a habit out of it.  I don't care if you are scared of needles or blood or clowns.  Just do it.

www.redcross.org

Dane Cook walks into a bar...

I have been listening to a lot of stand up comedy recently and feel as though I should share with the masses.  I believe that the hideous combination of Dane Cook's yelling and idiocy combined with previous incarnations of stand up comedy have tainted most people's views of what stand up comedy is and really how funny it is.  So, here are some people to get you started in redefining your notions of what funny is and what it can be.  Note:  Some or all of these may offend you in some way, and that is a good thing.  In the end they are hilarious and represent the edge and independence of what is great in stand up comedy right now.  Some you might be familiar with like Patton Oswalt and Zach Galifianakis from their recent mainstream success in movies and TV but do yourself a favor and check out what really makes them funny.  Others are incredibly creative writers and performers who soon will be big stars.  Most have a ton of stuff out there on the internets that you can get a hold of for free either from their Myspace/Facebook/Youface/Faceyou/MyFace pages or or on web pages like funnyordie.com.  Also I recommend hitting up Youtube, they are all there as well. These are just a few suggestions to get you started, Google is your friend, use it.  This is a carefully curated list that is guaranteed to please.  Trust me.  Just do it.  Seriously.  Do it.

Patton Oswalt

Zach Galifianakis

Nick Kroll

Eugene Mirman

Steve Rannazzisi
Aziz Ansari
Maria Bamford
Brian Posehn
John Oliver
Morgan Murphy
Demitri Martin

If a bird flies in an airplane....

Over the weekend my friend The Russian Spy told me a hilarious story about a recent avian encounter she had whilst navigating the peril that is airport security. The story is as follows...As the Spy was unloading her carry on and removing her stylish, yet professional shoes she noticed the lady in front of her unloading some sort of pet carrying contraption. Imagine her surprise when, rather than some sort of cat or small rat-like dog, the lady removed a large parrot from the cage. Adding to the already comedic yet horrific scene, at the precise moment the filthy beast was removed from its mobile prison it took to the air with hatred and fury in its beady bird eyes heading directly at The Spy. Letting out a shriek of pure terror The Spy leapt out of the way and the filthy beast landed on the ground and began squawking unmercifully. The owner of The Spy's new avian enemy admonished her for scaring the beast, unfairly so, when in reality the bird clearly attacked her and The Spy was simply avoiding what surely would have been a horrible pecking about the face and neck region.

With the beast now subdued in the woman's clutches she proceeded to carry it in her arms like a small child as she moved through the metal detector. The Spy looked on in disgust and horror as the woman whispered calming words to the beast and stroked it lovingly.

Absolutely brilliant. Can you even imagine witnessing this hilarity as you stood in line? And yet I can't help but consider a few things...

First off...THIS IS HOW WE FUCKING GET BIRD FLU!!! I mean come on, completely inappropriate. Keep your disease ridden, Spy attacking, evil birds at home.

Secondly, if a bird, itself being a creature who can fly, flies in an airplane, it being a machine that flies, does this create some sort of universal paradox that can undue the fabric of the space time continuum? Is there any human equivalent to this situation?

Dammit...where is Doc Brown when we need him.

Just some things to consider friends....and yes, if it is not as of yet abundantly clear, I do dislike birds a great deal. Except for falcons. Falcons are awesome. Even more awesome? Falconry. ITS THE SPORT OF KINGS!

I hope the Spy got the proper vaccinations after this encounter.

And the hits keep on comin'...

More great music, this time, a duo called Boombox. Funky, housey, jazzy...flawless. Check out their album "Visions of Backbeat". They have a new album coming out sometime soon in 2010.

Enjoy...

Oh so Pretty....

A friend recently turned me on to some great tunes produced by a guy named Pretty Lights. Its an interesting mash of electronic, hip hop, house, and some jazzy instrumental influences. Really, really great stuff.

The best part is you can download all of his music for FREE. A donation is encouraged, which I happily paid. This sort of approach to the distribution of music is changing the way people enjoy and purchase music, hopefully for the better.

www.prettylightsmusic.com

Here is a sample, on of his best songs and an awesome live performance from Bonaroo 2009. DIG IT!