Now let me adjust my crystal ball....

My best friend Joeyboots asked me, in response to my "Music of 2009" post, "well genius, now what is going to be good in 2010?"  A worthy and appropriate question my good man.  Since I am an evil gypsy with a crystal ball and the powers to see in the future I can, for you dear readers, give you a few bands to look out for in 2010.  I have included some video examples for your enjoyment if available.

-Vampire Weekend - Contra - A highly anticipated sophomore album from these guys. It has already been released and I have listened a few times through and while it is good, I have not decided as of yet how it compares to their debut which I absolutely loved. Their sound is like no other band out there, which I love about them.



-Yeasayer - Odd Blood - Another early release I have already listened to. They too have a unique sound. I really like this album, the songs are interesting and varied. Here is my favorite song off the album so far, "Ambling Alp"



-Pantha du Prince - Black Noise - Easily one of my own personal most highly anticipated releases, this drops in about two weeks. His 2007 album "This Bliss" was a flawless mix of beautiful ambient minimal techno. Here is a cut from the upcoming album, this one is "The Splendour"



Hot Chip - One Life Stand - Next to Vampire Weekend's Contra this band's third full length is probably the most critically anticipated album to be released. Their danceable electro rock is damn catchy. Should be a good one for the old moneymaker shaking.



The Shout Out Louds - Work - These catchy Swedes return in late February with another collection of great pop tunes. Here is the first single "Walls"



Other notable releases include the trip hop maestros Massive Attack with their release Helioglad and the Queen of baby-making music, Sade. That's right, Sade, her first album in over 10 years. Additionally, one of my all time favorite bands, Interpol will be releasing sometime in the summer or fall. Hooray.

Other big names releasing in the first half of 2010 include Lil Wayne, Redman, Wu Tang, Christina Aguilera, Usher, Black Rebel Motorcycle Club, Blink 182, No Doubt, The Beastie Boys, Red Hot Chili Peppers, and...wait for it...wait....for....it....Jennifa Yopez! I know, I too wept with unbridled joy.

Here is a great link that lists pretty much everything of note that will be releasing through the summer and beyond.

http://www.aolradioblog.com/2009/12/02/new-music-releases-2010-calendar/

To guido or not to guido...

In light of last nights Jersey Shore finale, I give you this:

Now that is a situation...

This is still funny....

Certainly I am not implying that Hurricane Katrina or Telethons in general are funny but Kanye West and Mike Myer's reaction to Kanye's idiotic ramblings certainly are.  Between this and Taylor Swift this is why you don't get invited to telethons, live events, barmitzvahs, or really any sort of public gathering anymore.  But dammit if you don't make some great tunes.  You are a complex mass of diametrically opposing forces (SAT words, BOO-YA) Kanye.  I mean can you really blame Clooney for not inviting you to his Hati shindig?  I agree that it is easy to be pissed at Clooney in general for banging supermodels, owning mansions in Italy, and just being an all around awesome dude but not for a Kanye-free telethon.  But I digress...Or do I?  I guess not.  That's pretty much it.

On a serious note I don't think it needs to be said that you should get off your ass and donate to the Red Cross if you haven't already.  Other than just money I would also encourage you to donate blood on a regular basis.  It is something I do yearly because I have a semi-rare blood type but everyone should make a habit out of it.  I don't care if you are scared of needles or blood or clowns.  Just do it.

www.redcross.org

Dane Cook walks into a bar...

I have been listening to a lot of stand up comedy recently and feel as though I should share with the masses.  I believe that the hideous combination of Dane Cook's yelling and idiocy combined with previous incarnations of stand up comedy have tainted most people's views of what stand up comedy is and really how funny it is.  So, here are some people to get you started in redefining your notions of what funny is and what it can be.  Note:  Some or all of these may offend you in some way, and that is a good thing.  In the end they are hilarious and represent the edge and independence of what is great in stand up comedy right now.  Some you might be familiar with like Patton Oswalt and Zach Galifianakis from their recent mainstream success in movies and TV but do yourself a favor and check out what really makes them funny.  Others are incredibly creative writers and performers who soon will be big stars.  Most have a ton of stuff out there on the internets that you can get a hold of for free either from their Myspace/Facebook/Youface/Faceyou/MyFace pages or or on web pages like funnyordie.com.  Also I recommend hitting up Youtube, they are all there as well. These are just a few suggestions to get you started, Google is your friend, use it.  This is a carefully curated list that is guaranteed to please.  Trust me.  Just do it.  Seriously.  Do it.

Patton Oswalt

Zach Galifianakis

Nick Kroll

Eugene Mirman

Steve Rannazzisi
Aziz Ansari
Maria Bamford
Brian Posehn
John Oliver
Morgan Murphy
Demitri Martin

If a bird flies in an airplane....

Over the weekend my friend The Russian Spy told me a hilarious story about a recent avian encounter she had whilst navigating the peril that is airport security. The story is as follows...As the Spy was unloading her carry on and removing her stylish, yet professional shoes she noticed the lady in front of her unloading some sort of pet carrying contraption. Imagine her surprise when, rather than some sort of cat or small rat-like dog, the lady removed a large parrot from the cage. Adding to the already comedic yet horrific scene, at the precise moment the filthy beast was removed from its mobile prison it took to the air with hatred and fury in its beady bird eyes heading directly at The Spy. Letting out a shriek of pure terror The Spy leapt out of the way and the filthy beast landed on the ground and began squawking unmercifully. The owner of The Spy's new avian enemy admonished her for scaring the beast, unfairly so, when in reality the bird clearly attacked her and The Spy was simply avoiding what surely would have been a horrible pecking about the face and neck region.

With the beast now subdued in the woman's clutches she proceeded to carry it in her arms like a small child as she moved through the metal detector. The Spy looked on in disgust and horror as the woman whispered calming words to the beast and stroked it lovingly.

Absolutely brilliant. Can you even imagine witnessing this hilarity as you stood in line? And yet I can't help but consider a few things...

First off...THIS IS HOW WE FUCKING GET BIRD FLU!!! I mean come on, completely inappropriate. Keep your disease ridden, Spy attacking, evil birds at home.

Secondly, if a bird, itself being a creature who can fly, flies in an airplane, it being a machine that flies, does this create some sort of universal paradox that can undue the fabric of the space time continuum? Is there any human equivalent to this situation?

Dammit...where is Doc Brown when we need him.

Just some things to consider friends....and yes, if it is not as of yet abundantly clear, I do dislike birds a great deal. Except for falcons. Falcons are awesome. Even more awesome? Falconry. ITS THE SPORT OF KINGS!

I hope the Spy got the proper vaccinations after this encounter.

And the hits keep on comin'...

More great music, this time, a duo called Boombox. Funky, housey, jazzy...flawless. Check out their album "Visions of Backbeat". They have a new album coming out sometime soon in 2010.

Enjoy...

Oh so Pretty....

A friend recently turned me on to some great tunes produced by a guy named Pretty Lights. Its an interesting mash of electronic, hip hop, house, and some jazzy instrumental influences. Really, really great stuff.

The best part is you can download all of his music for FREE. A donation is encouraged, which I happily paid. This sort of approach to the distribution of music is changing the way people enjoy and purchase music, hopefully for the better.

www.prettylightsmusic.com

Here is a sample, on of his best songs and an awesome live performance from Bonaroo 2009. DIG IT!

The year in music 2009 - it was...catchy?

For those that know me well, and even some that don't, it will come as no surprise that my first official blog post is about music. Let's kick this mofo off shall we?

With 2009 comfortably behind us I suppose it is about time I put together some thoughts on the year in music. After the deluge of melancholy beard-rock and auto tuned hip hop garbage in a mediocre musical 2008, 2009 was a nice return to form. Maybe it was the continuation of the proverbial shit hitting the fan economically or the disastrous job market or other more personal factors but, for me, music in 2009 was all about catchy tunes, fun, dancing, and creativity. It's no big surprise that catchy pop rock bands and electronic influences were everywhere this year and that these influences hit all genres from indie rock to hip hop. On the electronic side melodic, musical touches continued to smooth out and brighten up minimal techno and dance tracks. All in all there was a ton of great music this year so it was very difficult to narrow it down. So....drum roll please... I present to you my completely irony-free 11 Best Albums and 16 Best Songs of 2009.

Best Albums of 2009

1. Passion Pit - Manners - Just try and listen to this album and not have a good time. Passion Pit's sophomore album delivers electro-pop/rock goodness that is both interesting and a ton of fun.
2. Phoenix - Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix - These natty Frenchmen were everywhere in 2009, and rightly so. This album is a nearly perfect pop-rock record top to bottom. The sad thing is these guys have been perfecting this catchy pop rock for over 10 years and only now are gaining notoriety.
3. Japandroids - Post Nothing - Amazing debut release from this band. Low fi garage rock but showing an earnestness that balances out the guitars and dirty rocking. Check out their brilliant performance on Jimmy Fallon last week.
4. Various Artists - Dark Was the Night - A compilation album put together for charity it features new songs from a veritable who's who of indie rock royalty. A diverse range of acts like Bon Iver, The National, Grizzly Bear, Sufjan Stevens, and Spoon all deliver the goods, and I do mean the goods. This is incredible collection of songs perfect for a late night walk through the city; literally every song is brilliant.
5. The Field - Yesterday and Today - Another brilliant release from Alex Wilner aka The Field. His previous release in 2007 was in my top 5 favorite of that year and his follow up doesn't disappoint. Minimal techno with beautiful melodic and ambient touches.
6. Animal Collective - Merriweather Post Pavillion - Easily the most critically acclaimed band of 2009 and with good reason. Their folk meets electronica sound finally reaches a larger audience with an interesting yet accessible release. Kind of like the Beach Boys on some strong LSD playing with computers.
7. Miike Snow - Miike Snow - Yet another gorgeous electro-rock album and an awesome debut from this Chicago band. The perfect accompaniment to a drive on a sunny day or a teen drama on the CW.
8. Yppah - They Know What Ghost Know - Joe Corrales hails from Houston, an unlikely place to produce such beautiful and haunting electronic music. His 2007 debut was my favorite album of that year and his follow up is also excellent. It shows more indie rock influences but is no less wonderfully creative and memorable.
9. Yeah Yeah Yeah's - Its Blitz! - It didn't look good for the YYY's...band infighting, abandonment their proven garage rock sound for a new electronic and pop influenced sound, delays in recording and release, yet somehow the band overcame all of this to put out easily their best album yet in my opinion.
10. Kings of Leon - Only By the Night - The Kings finally break in the US. Somewhat of a departure sound-wise from their earlier sounds but no less enjoyable. Their arena filling sound can now be given its just due.
11. The Dead Weather - Horehoud - Dirty, bluesy, hard rockin, screeching female vocals...Jack White can do no wrong.

Honorable Mentions: Matt & Kim - Grand, Atlas Sound - Logos, Grizzly Bear-Veckatimest, Neon Indian - Psychic Chasms, Kid Cudi - Man on the Moon, Tegan and Sara - Sainthood, Guns n Roses - Chinese Democracy (just kidding, that album sucked, sorry Axl and April.)

Best Songs of 2009

1. Phoenix - 1901 - Impossibly catchy, funky, in short, absolute perfection. I almost want to buy that dumb Cadillac SUV just because of this song in the commercial. Kudos GM marketing, now about that bailout...
2. Grizzly Bear - Two Weeks - Their critically acclaimed album didn't wow me as much as others but this song is flawless. Orchestral harmonies, haunting vocals and the perfect piano refrain make this song unforgettable.
3. Jay Z feat. Alicia Keys - Empire State of Mind - Jay Z + Alicia + NYC ='nuff said. Just an epic tune.
5. Passion Pit - Little Secrets - If you listen to this song and don't smile and dance you are dead inside. So much fun. It has children signing in the background for god sake!
6. Animal Collective - My Girls - An unlikely combination of echo-y harmonies, odd noises, yelps, and warm electronic influences that somehow coalesces into a gorgeous tune.
7. Japandroids - Wet Hair - Fast, loud, a little messy, yet honest and heartfelt. The peak and final chorus are untouchable. Like the lyric says, I too want to "Get to France so I can french kiss some french girls." See? Romance isn't dead.
8. Miike Snow - Cult Logic - It didn't get the CW airplay that "Animal" did but this was easily my favorite track off their debut. Just a gorgeous little electro pop gem. You know you love it, XOXO Gossip Girl.
9. Matt & Kim - Lessons Learned - The syncopated marching band drumming, the furious piano playing, and the plaintive singing, somehow its not annoying but kind of perfect.
10. The Noisettes - Never Forget You - Gorgeous, Amy Winehouse-esque vocals, an almost Calypso style guitar riff, and an unforgettable chorus. This is happy music.
11. Deadmau5 feat. Rob Swire - Ghosts n Suff - This techno banger absolutely dominates. I dare you not to breakdance, I DARE YOU. Daft Punk agrees.
12. Gui Borratto - No Turning Back - A beautiful melodic electronic track from the Brazilian producer. This song will sit with you with its arm around your shoulders while you have a good cry.
13. The Temper Trap - Sweet Disposition - Schmaltzy? Maybe a little, but the swell of vocals, perfect guitar strum, and power when the chorus hits are pure magic. Plus Zooey Deschanel loves this song and I love her. So there!
14. Julian Casablancas - 11th Dimension - 80's synths, catchy guitar hooks; mix a cocktail and start dancing.
15. Sharon Jones and the Dap Kings - Inspiration Information - Sharon Jones and crew bring their 40's influenced soul sound to the Dark Is the Night compilation and the results are spectacular.
16. Black Joe Lewis and the Honeybears - Sugarfoot - Bringing the absolute funk, this Austin, TX band channels James Brown like nothing since James himself.

Well, there it is peeps. Should you want to look up any of this music and require assistance, don't hesistate to let me know.

Bonjour

How does the old saying go? "The random internet postings are the window to the soul". I think that's it. This blog, much like my own persona, will be a unique mix. Mostly it will about things I am passionate about: music, fashion, restaurants, beer and wine, books, politics, sandwiches. But, and I say this as a warning now, more than likely it will deteriorate into profanity laced tirades about trivial things, sarcastic commentary on a variety of subjects, and inappropriate rants on my successes and (probably more often than the former) failures in the wonderful world of dating. So, gentle reader, continue at your own risk. All I promise you is honesty, perhaps a laugh or two, and a glimpse into the inner workings of my brain. Enjoy, or don't, as the case may be. As my college philosophy professor used to say at the end of every class, questions, comments, and snide remarks are always encouraged.

-S